The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.
Itís better to be an optimist and a fool than a pessimist and right.
There is no right way to do wrong.
Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first and the lesson afterward.
If youíre not afraid to face the music you may some day lead the band.
How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on.
Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: You find the present tense and the past perfect.
Marriage is grand. Divorce is at least one hundred grand.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
When you are up to your ears in alligators, it is difficult to remember that the reason you are there is to drain the swamp.
If itís not true, itís still well-founded.
An assault upon reason makes inevitable an assault upon order.
All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.
When I die, I wish to comeback as one of her tears. What man would be so lucky as to have been conceived in her heart, born in her eyes, live on her cheeks, and die at her lips.
If youth is wasted on the young, then retirement is wasted on the old.
Some people are wise, and some people are otherwise.
Politics is either passing the buck or passing the dough.
Those most likely to believe the world is out to get them are the same people that are least likely to have anything the world wants.
If you lend someone twenty dollars and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.