|Born||Samuel Langhorne Clemens|
November 30, 1835
|Died||April 21, 1910|
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
There is no use in your walking five miles to fish when you can depend on being just as unsuccessful near home.
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again, and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
The departmental interpreters in Washington can always be depended on to take any reasonably good law and interpret the common sense all out of it.
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
No man’s life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.
You can’t depend on your judgment when your imagination is out of focus.
The first half of life consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance; the last half consists of the chance without the capacity.
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
The truth is a precious commodity. That’s why I use it so sparingly.
I believe I have no prejudices whatsoever. All I need to know is that a man is a member of the human race. That’s bad enough for me.
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.
The man who is a pessimist before forty-eight knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
A journalist is a reporter out of a job.
Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.