George Carlin
| Born | May 12, 1937 New York, New York |
|---|---|
| Died | June 22, 2008 Santa Monica, California |
The repository contains 17 quotes from George Carlin.
If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
The following statement is true. The preceding statement is false.
Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
Baseball is the only major sport that looks backwards in a mirror.
Where does the dentist go when he leaves the room?
I’m a visionary; I’m ahead of my time. Trouble is, I’m only about an hour and a half ahead.
The only good thing to come out of religion was the music.
Whever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Success and Failure • Optimism and Pessimism
No one ever says “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.
”I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence?
When someone asks you, “A penny for your thoughts,” and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
Jesus died for our sins. Dare we make his sacrifice meaningless by not committing them?
People get all upset about torture, but when you get right down to it, it’s really a pretty good way of finding out something a person doesn’t want you to know.
More people write poetry than read it.
As far as I’m concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that’s worth believing.
