A woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you’d step over your own mother just to get one!
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
It is better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and an angry woman.
Men are like stars... only one can make your dreams come true.
A woman needs four animals in her life: a mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the driveway, a tiger in bed, and a jackass to pay for it all.
God created man first because you have to have a rough draft before you create a masterpiece.
A man is never worth your tears, and the one who is won’t make you cry.
God created women to please the eye and trouble the mind.
God made man before woman to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.
If women knew what we were thinking, they’d never stop slapping us.
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
Women have their faults. Men have only two: Everything they say and everything they do.
A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one-dollar item he wants. A woman will pay one dollar for a two-dollar item that she doesn’t want.
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, the way to a woman’s heart is through his wallet.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman before marriage and after marriage.
Women look forward to old fashioned wedding days; men look forward to old fashioned wedding nights.
Needing a man is like needing a parachute. If he isn’t there the first time you need him, chances are you won’t be needing him again.