You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
1917 — 1995
The only real cure for a hangover is death.
1889 — 1945
The golden rule of reading a menu is, “If you can’t pronounce it, you can’t afford it.”
1894 — 1998
No meal is so good as when you have your feet under your own table.
1883 — 1983
I’m not going to starve to death just so I can live a little longer.
No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.
1880 — 1946
Woman accepted cooking as a chore, man has made of it a recreation.
1872 — 1960
A woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you’d step over your own mother just to get one!
If there never was a chicken everything would taste like nothing.
Wholesome food and drink are cheaper than doctors and hospitals.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
1906 — 1998
Dessert is probably the most important stage of the meal, since it will be the last thing your guests remember before they pass out all over the table.
Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging, and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise.
Don’t smoke, eat right, die anyway!
A chicken is just an egg’s way of making more eggs.
Salt is what makes things taste bad when it’s not in them.
Is life worth living? That depends on the liver.
If life is a waste of time and time a waste of life then let’s all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.
Every wife ought to know her husband’s favorite dish and which restaurant serves it.
Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.