Jim's Favorite Famous Quote, Quip, Axiom, and Maxim Repository
Category: Doctors and Health.

The repository contains 34 quotes in the category “Doctors and Health.”
Showing quotes 1 through 20 in the category “Doctors and Health.” Page 1 2.

Discussing his quadruple-bypass operation in the midst of the 2004 Presidential campaign:

Republicans aren’t the only ones that want four more years.

President Bill Clinton
1946 —     

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.

Benjamin Franklin
1706 — 1790

Where does the dentist go when he leaves the room?

George Carlin
1937 — 2008

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free.

P. J. O’Rourke
1947 —     

The worst about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary.

Elbert Hubbard
1856 — 1915

Joy, temperance, and repose slam the door on the doctor’s nose.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
1807 — 1882

Once I realized how expensive funerals are, I began to exercise and watch my diet.

Thomas Sowell
1930 —     

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.

Voltaire
1694 — 1778

Osteopath: One who argues that all human ills are caused by the pressure of hard bone upon soft tissue. The proof of this theory is to be found in the heads of those who believe it.

H. L. Mencken
1880 — 1956

On heart valve surgery:

It’s no piece of cake, but it sure beats listening to Ted Kennedy on the Senate floor.

Senator Jesse Helms
1921 — 2008

Anyone who goes to see a psychiatrist should have his head examined.

Samuel Goldwyn
1882 — 1974

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine.

Sir William Osler
1849 — 1919

I’m dying with the aid of too many physicians.

King Alexander the Great
356 — 323 A.D.

When I saw the number on the scale, I was forced to face a shocking, but unmistakable, fact: the scale was defective.

Dave Barry
1947 —     

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Erma Bombeck
1927 — 1996

Some people think that doctors and nurses can put scrambled eggs back in the shell.

Cass Canfield
1897 — 1986

You know you are getting old when all the names in your black book have MD after them.

Harrison Ford
1942 —     

On why he refused to have surgery:

I don’t want any doctor building a swimming pool with my knee.

Steve Howe
1958 — 2006

We should manage our fortunes as we do our health: enjoy it when it is good, be patient when it is bad, and never apply violent remedies except in an extreme necessity.

Duke François de La Rochefoucauld
1613 — 1680

A plastic surgeon’s office is the only place where no one gets offended when you pick your nose.

MAD Magazine

Showing quotes 1 through 20 in the category “Doctors and Health.” Page 1 2.